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Title : Trump Pardons Satan
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Trump Pardons Satan
Fresh off his presidential pardon ofAccording to the Dark Lord's Wikipedia entry, Satan "is a figure appearing in the texts of the Abrahamic religions who brings evil and temptation, and is known as the deceiver who leads humanity astray."
Though "Satan is generally viewed as having negative characteristics, some groups have very different beliefs."
And one of them is the Trump White House, which had this to say about the unorthodox presidential blessing of Beelzebub:
Throughout his 25 centuries as All-Mighty Ruler of the Underworld, Satan, also known as Lucifer, continued his immortal work of affronting all that is righteous and good on this miserable slum of a planet," the statement read. "Satan is now 2,500 years old, and after more than 25 centuries of admirable service to the scourge of depraved humanity, Lucifer is (a) worthy candidate for a Presidential pardon.
The statement drew outcry from civil rights groups, scholars, and empathic leftist libtards, but whatever. Fuck those triggered special snowflakes. There are no snowballs in hell.
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