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Juneau, Not BOULDER, is the Happiest City in America!

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Title : Juneau, Not BOULDER, is the Happiest City in America!
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Juneau, Not BOULDER, is the Happiest City in America!

Whoever said sunny, patchouli-drenched Boulder is the happiest city in America has never been to Juneau, Alaska (I’m looking at YOU, DENVER POST)! 

Because if you’ve never witnessed the following situations in Juneau, you have no idea what happiness even is:

1. A Nissan Leaf driver getting the last plug at Eaglecrest on a powder day.

2. A kid getting a mini-Twix bar thrown at his head from a moving fire truck on the Fourth of July.

3. A free, unused memory foam mattress going up on the Juneau buy-sell-trade Facebook page followed by a comment thread bidding war and fight re: same.

4. The first cruise ship of the season pulling into port.

5. The LAST cruise ship of the season pulling OUT of port.

6. Seeing that one asshole who sped past you on Egan Drive at Twin Lakes pulled over by JPD near Safeway.

7. Costco the day after the PFD direct deposit.

8. A free parking spot in the middle of the day by City Hall.

9. A parent who’s finally done selling all the wrapping paper, cookie dough, and homerun cards for their kid’s activity fundraisers.

10. A parent snickering while watching another parent have a complete and total babyish meltdown at a child’s hockey or soccer game.

11. The sun coming out after six straight weeks of rain followed by the Northern Lights the very same night.

12. The person who finally wins the seven-month long promoted Adele tickets and a trip to Costa Rica on Mix 106.

13. The end of solar eclipse mania.

14. A state worker with kids in school on a state holiday.

15. A free hot dog and a bag of chips anywhere at any event for any reason.

16. A self-inflicted legislative scandal.

17. Winning the king salmon derby.

18. Getting invited out on someone else’s boat.

19. When someone raises their hand first to volunteer for something (anything) so you don’t have to.

20. Two words: December 22.

Juneau, not Boulder, is the happiest city in America and I am calling straight BULLSHIT on anyone who says otherwise!





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