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Must Literally EVERY Hole of Her Body Be Available for Use?

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Title : Must Literally EVERY Hole of Her Body Be Available for Use?
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Must Literally EVERY Hole of Her Body Be Available for Use?

Listen guys, I’m not trying to pass judgment or kink shame anyone here. Truly I’m not. As someone chided me last time I delved into this area, the first rule of kink is you don’t drag anyone else’s kink. To that point, I fully get that S&M/BDSM is a yoogely common kink that many peeps are into, and as far as I’m concerned what goes on between consenting adults is fine and dandy.

God bless ‘em, I say!

I do, however, have one or two teensie technical questions about this particular Southeast Alaska Craigslist ad titled “Are U My Sub?”

Just so I’m clear: I knew right away this wasn’t the school district looking for more substitute teachers. I’m not so old and clueless as to not realize what a “sub” is in the context of Craigslist. And while I’m not personally tempted to “live out [my] sexuality as a submissive slave” or be “completely” (or really even partially) “owned” by anyone—handsome and highly educated or not—I respect that this prospect might butter someone else’s biscuit, so to speak.

My question here relates to this dom’s requirement that “every hole of your body will be available to be used by me,” and also that “we’ll be inside each other’s minds all the time.”

To the first point, EVERY hole seems exhaustive and over-inclusive.

As a lawyer, I parse words for a living, and in the interest of due diligence I like to make sure I understand the precise terms of an offer. So I feel like the words “every hole” and “available to be used” need to be, um, fleshed out a bit more?

For example: are we talking nostrils in addition to the standard sex trifecta of mouth/vajay/anus? What about the ear canal? Or the holes inside the body that can’t be readily seen, like the chest cavity and esophagus? Like does the sub have to undergo surgery on command so he can access truly EVERY hole? At any time? Like if he wants to do it to her in her ear hole, (to paraphrase Parliament Funkadelic), does she have to let that happen on, say, the public bus?

Alaskan winters can be long and boring and we might need to get creative here. So clearing up exactly what holes we’re dealing with—and in what circumstances— would be helpful.

Secondly, there’s the whole “we’ll be inside each other’s minds all the time” requirement. A couple issues here.

How does the sub prove she has the dom “inside her mind all the time?” Again, ALL the time seems like a lot to ask, even of the most loyal and submissive sub.

For instance, surely the dom will demand self care like haircuts and waxing and mani-pedis and such. While the sub will likely be thinking of pleasing the dom while undergoing these treatments, it’s probably unrealistic to expect her to have him inside her mind all the time, not to mention this is an unenforceable term because you can never prove what’s in someone else’s mind.

Like what if she’s getting a full Brazilian because the dom orders it and her mind meanders to other thoughts, such as the caloric content of Gogurt, why Gogurt exists, and if Gogurt is made with GMOs. Or perhaps contemplates whatever happened to Ricky Schroeder after Silver Spoons and makes a mental note to Google this later? Is she thereby being disloyal to the dom?

These are critical issues to resolve right away so that expectations are met and no one feels like they’re getting a raw deal here.





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