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Title : Southwest Airlines is Getting Roasted for Making Its Passengers a Captive Audience to Emo/Hipster Open Mic Night
link : Southwest Airlines is Getting Roasted for Making Its Passengers a Captive Audience to Emo/Hipster Open Mic Night
Southwest Airlines is Getting Roasted for Making Its Passengers a Captive Audience to Emo/Hipster Open Mic Night
Listen. I love live music as much as anyone. I've probably spent more time and money on live music over the course of my life than any other form of entertainment, and live music gets played in my house on the reg with varying degrees of skill, depending on who's playing it.
That said, I feel like a person should be able to choose one's entertainment and not have it foisted upon them, because this is America for fuck's sake.
So when I read that Southwest Airlines just finalized an agreement with Warner Music Nashville to "expand its series of pop-up in air concerts," my first reaction was there had better be a two drink minimum. By which I mean, Southwest better be giving every passenger on that plane two free drinks after making them a captive audience to some emo hipster trio playing Arcade Fire covers at 30,000 feet while a baby with ear pressure problems screams its head off in the background.
Noise cancelling headphones were invented for a reason, and that reason is you sometimes have to go on an airplane. Arguably, an airplane is the number two place where you are most subjected to unwelcome sounds, with the airport itself being number one.
It'd be nice if you could just close your ears the same way you can your eyes, but you can't.
Instead, you have to listen to people disciplining their children (or not) in ways you disagree with and judge contemptuously with a vicious, involuntary side-eye. You have to hear a guy in pointy shoes, cuff links, and a $2,500 TAG Heuer wristwatch blabbing about an Excel spreadsheet on his bluetooth like he's splitting the fucking atom and wants to make sure the whole world knows it. You have to listen to two bros in cammo and baseball caps guffaw while they swap dumb small-talk fish stories. You have to listen to the same FAA-mandated safety lecture about how your seat cushion conveniently turns into an inner tube in case you end up floating in the Pacific Ocean. You have listen to a promotion (AGAIN) for a frequent flier credit card you've already maxed out. You have to hear the toilet flushing. You have to focus on the indecipherable updates from the cockpit about "bumpy air" and listen intently for mechanical failures and/or signs of alarm in the pilot's voice or--God forbid--the words "brace of impact."
In other words, even through a good pair of noise cancelling headphones, there's stuff you're forced to listen to, and now Southwest Airlines has added a FUCKING OPEN MIC NIGHT to the cacophony.
This seems like a decidedly sadistic thing to do to already ragged and weary air-travelers.
As if getting felt up by TSA isn't enough of an affront to one's dignity and sense of calm, you will now be trapped against your will in a confined space while some L.A.-based Lumineers-inspired, dime-a-dozen Adam Levine-wannabe with sleeve-ink and hair product plays the same three chords and croons earnestly with his eyes closed into a mic that carries his maudlin voice all the way to Seat 33C.
There are not enough peanuts in the world to throw at this idea. Just because you call something a "pop-up" something doesn't make it cool. In fact, if something is called a "pop-up" anything that's generally a pretty good indication that it's going to be insufferable AF.
I feel like Southwest should pay you to take these flights, not the other way around.
That said, I feel like a person should be able to choose one's entertainment and not have it foisted upon them, because this is America for fuck's sake.
So when I read that Southwest Airlines just finalized an agreement with Warner Music Nashville to "expand its series of pop-up in air concerts," my first reaction was there had better be a two drink minimum. By which I mean, Southwest better be giving every passenger on that plane two free drinks after making them a captive audience to some emo hipster trio playing Arcade Fire covers at 30,000 feet while a baby with ear pressure problems screams its head off in the background.
Noise cancelling headphones were invented for a reason, and that reason is you sometimes have to go on an airplane. Arguably, an airplane is the number two place where you are most subjected to unwelcome sounds, with the airport itself being number one.
It'd be nice if you could just close your ears the same way you can your eyes, but you can't.
Instead, you have to listen to people disciplining their children (or not) in ways you disagree with and judge contemptuously with a vicious, involuntary side-eye. You have to hear a guy in pointy shoes, cuff links, and a $2,500 TAG Heuer wristwatch blabbing about an Excel spreadsheet on his bluetooth like he's splitting the fucking atom and wants to make sure the whole world knows it. You have to listen to two bros in cammo and baseball caps guffaw while they swap dumb small-talk fish stories. You have to listen to the same FAA-mandated safety lecture about how your seat cushion conveniently turns into an inner tube in case you end up floating in the Pacific Ocean. You have listen to a promotion (AGAIN) for a frequent flier credit card you've already maxed out. You have to hear the toilet flushing. You have to focus on the indecipherable updates from the cockpit about "bumpy air" and listen intently for mechanical failures and/or signs of alarm in the pilot's voice or--God forbid--the words "brace of impact."
In other words, even through a good pair of noise cancelling headphones, there's stuff you're forced to listen to, and now Southwest Airlines has added a FUCKING OPEN MIC NIGHT to the cacophony.
This seems like a decidedly sadistic thing to do to already ragged and weary air-travelers.
As if getting felt up by TSA isn't enough of an affront to one's dignity and sense of calm, you will now be trapped against your will in a confined space while some L.A.-based Lumineers-inspired, dime-a-dozen Adam Levine-wannabe with sleeve-ink and hair product plays the same three chords and croons earnestly with his eyes closed into a mic that carries his maudlin voice all the way to Seat 33C.
There are not enough peanuts in the world to throw at this idea. Just because you call something a "pop-up" something doesn't make it cool. In fact, if something is called a "pop-up" anything that's generally a pretty good indication that it's going to be insufferable AF.
I feel like Southwest should pay you to take these flights, not the other way around.
Thus Article Southwest Airlines is Getting Roasted for Making Its Passengers a Captive Audience to Emo/Hipster Open Mic Night
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