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Title : Review: Two 9 Year-Old Girls' Impromptu Mandatory Dance Show
link : Review: Two 9 Year-Old Girls' Impromptu Mandatory Dance Show
Review: Two 9 Year-Old Girls' Impromptu Mandatory Dance Show
Technically speaking, we still live in a free country. But you wouldn’t know it from the impromptu, mandatory gymnastics and dance program that two nine year-old girls DEMANDED their parents watch.The lights went up on the show last Sunday evening in a one-night only performance at a cluttered, split level ranch playroom “theater-gymnasium” on Douglas Island, Alaska.
The “show,” produced, directed, and performed by Hazel, 9 and Paige, 9.5 was a loud, chaotic mishmash of cartwheels, front-walkovers, splits, and something called a “tick-tock.” Little brother Isaac, 7, DJ’d the production from a tiny couch in the corner with Top 40 pop-music blaring through the iPad Spotify app, while little brother Ian, 6, was tasked with the lighting.
The small audience of three mothers and one father—all slightly inebriated—might have been more forgiving of the under-rehearsed performance had the show’s producer and director not berated and nagged them into watching it IMMEDIATELY after dinner was served and consumed.
In an arguable breach of artistic decorum, the cast and crew loitered and bounced up and down for 15 minutes over the shoulders of the audience prior to curtain call.
The cast insisted in plaintive whines that the audience discard their adult coloring books, guitars, fiddles, and giant glasses of liquor, hoist their rears from their perches, come downstairs, and re-position themselves in two tiny Disney Princess bucket chairs that barely held half an adult butt-cheek (two of the moms) while one of the moms and the dad were relegated to the carpet.
Notwithstanding the lack of adequate seating and the Communist China conscripted nature of the spectacle, the show’s highlights included various impossible bodily contortions. The splits and back handsprings, in particular, made all four audience members gasp and wince in pain at the thought of their over-40 bodies executing even part of a single one of these maneuvers.
Although the two stars had chemistry, it was obvious that there was disagreement between them about what choreography element should come when, which translated into some miscommunication with the sound engineer and DJ as well as the lighting technician, both of whom endured unjustified berating at various points during the course of the performance.
Notwithstanding the lack of adequate seating and the Communist China conscripted nature of the spectacle, the show’s highlights included various impossible bodily contortions. The splits and back handsprings, in particular, made all four audience members gasp and wince in pain at the thought of their over-40 bodies executing even part of a single one of these maneuvers.
Although the two stars had chemistry, it was obvious that there was disagreement between them about what choreography element should come when, which translated into some miscommunication with the sound engineer and DJ as well as the lighting technician, both of whom endured unjustified berating at various points during the course of the performance.
At one point, the show’s director almost kicked an audience member in the head while spinning the show’s producer around in a move whose name I can’t remember. The show concluded rather abruptly with a few whispers, a shrug, and a "that's it."
All in all, I can’t say I recommend this untitled program to anyone.
All in all, I can’t say I recommend this untitled program to anyone.
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